Friday, September 20, 2013

The good, the bad, the journey

The last several months have been a huge whirlwind of emotions for us! Both good and bad.

We hit our 2 year in Arizona mark on August 18th! Some days I feel like it has been forever, others it seems like a blink of the eye. During this time I have felt like we have had a lot of bad experiences, like every major decision we have made has ended in miserable failure I know that sounds terrible but I have really struggled during our time here. With us going into our 3rd year at ASU we filled out (another) application for instate tuition at the beginning of the summer.

Dallens best friend Danny got married the day Dallen was supposed to start school and before we left my in-laws house the morning of the wedding, Dallen got the sad email that our application for tuition was denied. Needless to say we were upset furious! We had an hour drive to the temple where we (mostly me) cried and discussed what our options were. I was so angry I felt I shouldn't go to the wedding. But we decided to put our feelings aside and do our best to make that day about Danny and Gina.
I'm so thankful for my Heavenly Father. I know he put us in the right place at the right time, while we watched them get married for time and eternity it reminded us of what is most important. Each other. The anger and bitterness I felt before I entered the temple was overwhelming, but while in the temple that day the problems went out of our minds and we were able to love and support our friend and that day ended up being very special and enjoyable.  
We decided we had a few options and hope was not yet lost. We applied for an appeal with ASU where we were given a date (September 18th) when we would meet before a board and have 30 minutes to argue our case. We also applied to Utah State University and made arrangements to transfer starting in January just in case we were denied the appeal.
During the month between our initial denial and our appeal date we did a lot of fasting and praying, with the support of many family and friends. We had a huge decision to make. On one hand I love Utah and I know we would be happy there since that is where our families are and if we had to move then I felt like it would be ok. On the other, while we hate Arizona, we have built a life here; we both have jobs, we have a home that we have come to love and make our own, we are both in school (I just started this month!) and we have made so many great friends we would be sad to leave behind. 
I am a woman of little faith, I struggle with many things spiritually and while I have seen the Lord work miracles in my life it is hard for me to not feel like I am sometimes alone. I prayed that the lord would comfort me regardless of what decision the board came to, I prayed that I would learn to trust in His timing and that I would have the faith required to know He knew what was best for me. 
About a week before our appeal date I was feeling very strongly that the BEST option for us would be that we would be granted instate tuition and that we could stay here and finish his education with ASU. (For reasons I will post in future blogs)
Going into the hearing, I felt convinced we would not get it. I was so nervous and upset, I had spent the day putting together a folder full of emails, tax forms, bank statements, pay stubs anything and everything I thought would give us an edge. I felt so small and insignificant going into it, and if you know me you know I have a temper, and I have strong opinions. I worked very hard at being the most sweet, kind young woman I could be and answered all their questions honestly and respectfully. In the end it was a "no brainer" the questions they had about our financial independence were put to rest and we were granted our appeal!
We have both worked so hard and sacrificed so much to be where we are, I know the Lord is aware of us and I think I needed this trial in a way to be able to see that. Even though I would have been more than happy without it.
So we will be here for the next 2 years at least. I know we still have a long road ahead of us with many more trials, but I'm glad I picked a good, kind, patient man who loves and supports me through all the junk and support and love of such a large family and group of friends.

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